Today, I had a chance to talk with the one and only
Spencer Nagasako, producer of A.K.A. Don Bonus and pioneer of the video-diary format, about our project. Given his years of experience in filmmaking and working at the Vietnamese Youth Development Center in the Tenderloin area of San Francisco, I absorbed every word he uttered during our hour-long conversation. He was very generous with his time considering he doesn't know me. Malcom Collier, my former professor who taught Asian American studies/photography at San Francisco State University, referred me to him. Malcom Collier is a Visual Anthropologist and pioneer in his own right. But more on him at another time.
Spencer was refreshingly, and brutally, straight forward about the business of filmmaking. His language was certainly colorful (#X%@$) and opinionated, but they came from a deep place. I appreciated his candor, no-nonsense view of things.
He wanted to know what we were about. I presumed he looked at our "press kit", but he was still puzzled. That spoke a lot about where we are as a project. I told him we are still at the beginning stage of the process, trying to figure out where we are going. But this feeling of "ambiguity" in our mission statement is also intentional because we are a hybrid group representing different points of view. At any rate, he gave me some sage advice. I hope I get a chance to talk to him some more. Meanwhile, the following are some nuggets I came out with.
(1) Failure is golden. Spencer laments the fact that today's "digital" filmmakers do not truly appreciate the value of making mistakes. You learn from mistakes. With film and linear editing, mistakes are that much more costly. We've lost that sense of urgency and teachable moments that come with failures thanks, in large part, to the advent of digital technology.
(2) Be prepared to make critical decisions. Once we get going, unexpected events can occur that may force us to decide which path to take. Do I do this full-time? Am I a therapist/clinician first or a filmmaker? He felt that somebody needs to take charge and do this full-time at some point. I felt a bit discouraged here because I am not in the position to do filmmaking full-time. I want to continue doing "multiple" things (social work, therapy, film, theology, etc.).
(3) Funding is key, and that will take us to another level. Right now we are running on lots of creative energy. But there will come a time when the initial energy will wane, and we will get tired. This is where funding and grants are crucial. We talked about the fact that the funding source can come from outside the media organizations. Spencer's project at the youth center was funded by various youth programs/organizations in a time when race relations became an important topic (early 1990s --Rodney King incident). The climate was ripe.
(4) Filmmaking is serious business. I got the sense from him that you can't just decide one day to become a filmmaker without really paying your dues. I'm still an "outsider", and he likened my situation to be closer to Lee Mun Wah's than his own. Lee Mun Wah was a psychotherapist (trained at SF State) who later won widespread recognition for his documentary, "The Color of Fear", which explores race relations in a group therapy setting. Again, this was made at the right time when multiculturalism was hot topic. Spencer reminded me that Lee Mun Wah may have made this successful film (which made over a million dollars), but he was really a therapist first and would be unable to answer film related questions had he been asked such questions at a film festival. I suppose there are a lot of "one-time-only" filmmakers. This made me think deeply about what my own personal commitment is toward filmmaking.
(5) Staying true to your creative vision. Spencer recalled moments during his work at the Youth Center where he had opportunities to be involved in other film projects, particularly after his documentary became a hit and landed him at the Berlin Film Festival, etc. But he followed his heart and chose to stay at the Youth center where he could continue to hone his filmmaking craft and nurture his creativity. The kids there were authentic and raw, and he knew that being there was good for his creative soul. I get what he is saying. What is important for me at this moment is not so much to gain recognition, grants, etc. but to stay true to my creative spirit and to cultivate my craft and vision--whatever that may be. Easier said than done.
(6) Beginning, Middle, and End. When Spencer taught his workshops, he made his students do commercials. Why? Because young people can relate to commercials; it's an integral part of pop culture. Plus commercials, no matter how short, have a beginning, middle, and an end--an essential element in filmmaking. At the end of the day, the kids would feel like they've actually produced something after each workshop. If we ever do these kinds of workshops, this would be a good point to keep in mind.
I told him I was burning out--although I'm not quite there yet. While I have other crew working with me, it is also true that I have been putting a lot of work into this thing--using my personal resources and free time. He told me that the fact that I'm burning out should tell me something. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. Perhaps he was implying that I'm not cut out to do this. I don't know. I'll have to ask him next time. But honestly, I think anyone doing what I'm doing would eventually experience the same thing that I'm beginning to experience. I'm working full-time as a case manager/social worker (not filmmaker), plus I've taken on this project which requires me to squeeze in whatever time I have at work AND at home during after hours and weekends. This would burn out anyone.
